


Everything I Didn't Say

by Forever_Imagining



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Making Up, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Imagining/pseuds/Forever_Imagining
Summary: Part 2 to Disconnected /Can be read on its own. Based off of Everything I did Say by 5sos. Murphy and you have heard about the City of Light. However, because of very different opinions, tension between the two of you rises. What will happen when the tension finally snaps?





	Everything I Didn't Say

“Don’t talk to me!”

“Hey! I am not done talking to you!”

“Sorry, Murphy, but I don’t wanna hear any more shit from your mouth.”

Murphy and you fought… Again. You have been in the same disagreement for a few weeks. It all revolved around one thing. The City of Light.

Murphy had come to the tent and told you about what Jaha had told him.

“The City of Light?” You had tilted your head. “Sounds fake.”

Your boyfriend was on the bed, his hands behind his head. “Yeah. I know.”

You had blinked, sighed, and placed a hand on your hip. “Really?”

“Yep,” John Murphy had answered with a pop of the “p.”

You had tilted your head and crossed your arms. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

Murphy had raised one brow. “What?”

“You are thinking about leaving this camp to find this City of Light?”

He had smirked. “No, I’m not.”

“Why are you denying it?”

“(Y/n)-”

“No, I know you, John Murphy, and you are thinking about it.”

“So what if I am?”

“So what?” You had sighed and sat down the bed with him. “Murphy, we have a good life here.” You turned to him. “We have food and shelter, safety.” You corrected yourself, “More safety than in a city that may or may not exist.”

Murphy had sat up and rubbed your shoulder. “Is it really that good, though?” He had held your hand, rubbing circles on the back. “(Y/n), I have no gun privileges, no way to protect us. You are a suspect for every crime here just because you’re with me. If we leave, then… Then we can be together with no consequences.”

You had pursed your lips, lost in thought. If the two of you were to leave, then what? Your boyfriend had a point. At Camp Jaha, the names (Y/n) and Murphy were warnings of crime. Whenever you were called by an official or by someone in a police uniform, you’d think back to what you had done in the last few days and who was there with you. You needed to make sure you were never accused again. It’s not that you were a criminal or anything, but your association and status with Murphy, (Someone even came up with the phrase “gone Murphy” which means “gone crazy with a weapon.” You’ve defended your boyfriend and went against the phrase, but Murphy told you to stop after a while. You didn’t listen.), somehow made you some sort of criminal, too.

No matter how many times you sneered someone for saying “gone Murphy” or how many times you’ve stood up to a guard in your defense, Camp Jaha was home. Your best friend, Octavia, was there, and Murphy even made friends with Lincoln. There was food on the table. There were safe hunting grounds and shooting ranges.

Out there, where the City of Light was murmured to be, was scary. It was a mystery. Seeing how most mysteries turned out horribly on the Ground, you didn’t want to risk it.

“Just let me think about it,” you had told him. “And talk to me about it. Please.”

“Why wouldn’t I tell my partner in crime?”

Well, he didn’t keep his promise. His want to go into the unknown became more and more evident. His lies piled on top of one another, and your anger was ready to snap.

And it did.

“All this time, you were planning to leave! With no goodbye! To your girlfriend!” You scoffed. “I have every right to end this conversation.”

Murphy screeched, “Fine! Don’t listen to me. I don’t care anymore! Just live out your lonely and quiet life here!”

A pang of sadness struck your heart, but that didn’t simmer your boiling anger. “Go find your fairytale castle, Murphy! See if I care.” With that, you stormed right out of your tent with tears in your eyes. Murphy was a jerk. He wanted to find some mythical haven and he didn’t even consult you. Sure, you were not so excited about the idea, but you could’ve been convinced if he had just talked to you. You would leave Camp Jaha for Murphy. You just needed to make sure Murphy and you would be together, not separated while searching. that’s all you needed.

But no! Murphy was going to pack it all up and leave without a goodbye to you. You, his girlfriend. It was a dick move.

Even so, his last words banged against your skull. “I don’t care anymore,” he had screamed. “Just live out your lonely and quiet life here!”

It pained you to think about it. His clenched fists. His narrowed eyes. His unforgiving snarl. You shut your eyes and stared at the ground. Why did everything have to be so screwed up?

Murphy had thrown almost every object in sight. He hated this. He hated fighting with you. He wasn’t doing this for himself. Murphy was doing it because he knew he had to leave you. It would be better. You would recover. You didn’t need a murderer as a boyfriend. All you needed was Octavia. Not him.

The delinquent growled and threw one of his packs across the room.

He hated himself for caring too much. If he was just a bit more selfish, he would’ve stayed. If he was a bit more stupid, he would take you with him. Because, you may not need him, but he desperately needed you.

You were the one thing, the one person, the one thought that kept him sane. it kept him from going crazy. It made him care. It made him want to be better.

Why did he have to drive you away?

Murphy sighed and plopped down on the bed. He wiped his eyes, trying to stop his oncoming tears.

You had only been gone for a few minutes, and he already felt empty without you. Murphy started to curse at himself. He made a mistake. He shut his eyes tightly, his tears almost escaping. He stared at the ceiling and, even though it hurt him to do so, he thought back to your conversation.

“What’s this?”

Murphy had looked up. Shock had flashed in his eyes before he smirked. “An extra pack. You know, when I go hunting.”

You had known something was up. “You’re lying again.”

“Again? I’ve lied to you before.”

You had scoffed. “Yeah. You have. Murphy, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. Octavia-”

“Don’t try and distract me from what you’re doing, Murphy.” You had stomped over and picked up the pack. “Much heavier than your usual.” You kicked away a few other packs. A gun was partially buried there. “A gun? I wonder.” You dropped the pack. It landed with a resounding thud. “You are packing for the City of Light.”

“So what if I am?”

Everything was a blur from there. Murphy punched the bed and continued to think. There was shouting. There was so much. There were cutting words. 

There were words he didn’t say.

Murphy shook his head, and tears welled up in his eyes again. He should’ve given you his reasons. He should’ve talked to you. He should’ve told you everything.

Something bright caught his eye. He stepped over to it and picked it up. A knife. But not just any knife. It was yours. Well, his knife but he gave it to you, since he couldn’t get much else besides a few, meager flowers for your first official date.

He had to find you. He had to find you. He couldn’t lose you.

Murphy grasped the knife, shoved it a pack, and ran outside. He searched the entire camp, but he couldn’t find you. He raked his hand through his hair with frustration.

Then, a familiar face.

“Octavia!”

Your best friend turned around and crossed her arms. “And you want?”

“Where is she?”

She shrugged. She lied, of course. Little did Murphy know, you were nearby, hiding and listening.

Murphy closed in on her. “I swear, you little-”

“Do you really think insulting me will get you anywhere? Now, what the hell do you want?”

Murphy opened his mouth, but then, he realized he didn’t know himself. He wanted redemption, a second chance. he wanted a good and bright future. He wanted safety and security. However, he knew there was one constant in all of his dreams.

You. Safe and happy you.

Murphy sighed. “I just want (Y/n) safe.”

“And you think ditching her for some myth while she stays in here cooped up is what’s safe for her? You think saying, ‘Shut up! You’re not listening to me!’ helps your point?” Octavia shook her head. “You really are messed up. I don’t know what she sees in you.”

Murphy clenched his fists. He wanted to explode and say all the very unkind things he was thinking. However, the coldness of your knife in his hand brought him back to earth. “I… I don’t know either. To be honest.” He inhaled sharply. “I didn’t say a lot of things. Like how I wished, I could’ve made her stay… Or that I am… I’m the one to blame.” He grit his teeth. “Octavia, just… I know you’re lying, but tell her that… that I know I’m late, a little too late, but…” He handed her the pack. “Just give it to her. Tell her that this… This is everything I didn’t say.”

Octavia came to you a few minutes later with the pack. “You wanna toss it?”

You shook your head. You clutched your knees to your chest.

Octavia smiled. “I do think you could do better.”

“O, I know-”

“But, the two of you together are quite the couple. Notorious. Passionate. Quite legendary.”

You smiled a little. “Thanks.”

“But then again, if you do want to dump his sorry ass, I am all for it.” She stood up. “Now, see if whatever is in that backpack can patch this up.” She walked away.

You licked your lips. You didn’t know what was in the pack. you didn’t know what to find. However, if Murphy wanted you to see it, there must be some important in there. You took a deep breath and reached for the first thing in the pack.

Your knife, Murphy’s old knife really, his gift on your first date. You smiled at the thought. Your date with Murphy was amazing. It ended like every other night before, but even so, it was even better.

You put it down. Other random things were stuffed in there. A full water bottle. A container of berries.

A journal.

You opened the book. There were only a few entries. All of them were crossed out. You turned to the first one. “All of this is a bad dream. I swear it is,” you read aloud. “I can’t tell her. She’d insist to come along. Maybe she’d convince me to stay.”

Next entry. “I remember when things started out, when we admitted that there was more than just the mind-blowing sex. I wish I could bring us back to that start.”

Next entry. “She’s slipping through my fingers. I’m losing so many hours with her. I’m avoiding her. And I can see that she’s hurt. But what can I do?”

Next entry. “I have to do this. I’d sacrifice anything to keep her safe. To make everything in her life ok. Like it should be.”

Last entry. “I’m going to miss her.”

You smiled. You laughed. Murphy did that for you. He made horrible mistakes, but he cared. that’s why he wanted to leave. He thought it was better for you. He thought you’d be better off.

With the journal in your hand, you sprinted across camp to your tent. Lo and behold, John Murphy was there. He began, “(Y/n)-”

You pressed your lips against his. Hard. You pushed him down so his back hit the bed. You grasped his shirt.

Murphy held you tightly. His hands traveled up and down your back, memorizing every detail.

Once you pulled away, you whispered, “Ever do that to me, and I will personally kill you.”

“I won’t.” He leaned in to steal another kiss.

You pushed him back down. “A few more things.”

“And what’s that?”

“I am coming with you to this City, and you do deserve me.”

Murphy beamed. “A princess and a killer?”

You smirked. “Since when did you become a princess?” Before he could say anything else, you kissed him again. And again. And again.


End file.
